Sunday, April 22, 2012
ARP Thesis Statements
For Monday's blog post, we will follow the same format as the research question post in order to post your thesis statements for your ARP rough drafts. To do this, you will need to supply two comments. Your first comment, due before class, will be the thesis statement you are currently working with for your ARP. After class, you will need to come back and comment on one of your classmate's thesis statements, providing feedback on how to make it more effective. You will be aided in this process by following the reading for Monday from Writing Analytically, specifically paying attention to the section on weak thesis statements (255-64).
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Burn, an energydrink, uses sex to sell its product because it uses gender differences.Regarding this, using sex to sell a product is good for attracting customers but bad for society as a whole.
ReplyDeleteI would consider mentioning what gender differences you are talking about. I would also specify why using sex to sell the product is good for attracting customers and why it is bad for society as a whole. It's a good topic but I think it's a little too broad.
Delete@Inkrott: You can improve your thesis by specifying or at least hinting at what "other" factors yo are talking about.
DeleteMedia uses tactics that reinforce the current power dynamics in American society in which male gender is dominant over the female and in the same way existent social standards persuade media to use such strategies.
ReplyDeleteYou what is very clear, media uses the current dynamics of American society, which shows male gender dominant over females. I do not really see the why however. The social standards persuading media to use these strategies seems to be part of the what. Maybe say why media uses these tactics and why there are persuaded. Also it seems a little broad. What power dynamics, what tactics, what social standards, what strategies?
DeleteAdvertisements which use implicit techniques, guarantee quality of products and realize gender equality can be appropriate and draw customers because of inclusion of sex.
ReplyDeleteYou might want to consider contrasting this form of advertisement against more explicit forms to strengthen your point.
DeleteThrough the use of hyper-masculine imagery, music, and power over women, Kia's advertisement portrays the ideal man, and suggests that buying their product, will make you like this ideal man.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the ideal man and "Buying their product will make you this ideal man" Well why is it bad to be like the ideal man
DeleteRick Santorum's "War on Porn" connects the reality that both pornography and prostitution are ways for selling your body for money through sexuality, but one is legal and one isn't; prostitution isn't necessarily an ethical practice but both pornography and prostitution should be legally allowed to occur in America, a free country.
ReplyDeleteI understand that the thesis is lengthy and wordy, and I also have not fully come to a stance on whether or not they should be legal. I need to fully research my topic before I can make a set point on which direction to go.
I think that this is a good thesis for the most part. It is certainly and interesting issue, but I feel the last sentence adds too much bias and should probably be cut. A thesis is making an argument, but that seems like an arbitrary one.
DeleteIn Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast, Disney effectively portrays Gaston's masculinity to be physical and superficial, while in reality there are many other factors that come into play.
ReplyDeleteWhat other factors are you talking about? Physical and superficial probably wont be enough to conduct your entire paper about. Go into further detail of what these other factors may be.
DeleteMany women are passionate in their fight for rights, freedom, and individualism, and although this is a good characteristic to have, it has also become one of the many characteristics of a typical woman. The media uses this typicality as one of its many means of manipulation to get the audience to buy its products, therefore causing such strong feminist activists to hinder their fight for individualism by grouping their characteristics together and plotting them against each other.
ReplyDeleteMarketing of alcohol and other products typically considered to be 'male' has long focused on hyper sexualizing the 'female object.' As we can see from Dos Equis, Old Spice, and others, the concept has now shifted to overtly masculinize the main protagonist. However, this tactic still employs methods that exploit gender roles, as well as sex at a subverted level.
ReplyDeleteThe sexuality information in media has a great influence on public, especially on children and young people. However, those effects almost are negative which had resulted in some serious social problems, like young sex crime. So I want to see the relation between media sexuality and sex crimes, the big trend of the relation and solutions of the problem.
ReplyDeleteAnheuser Busch has shifted their advertising methods from humor to using sex to sell, the "Real Men of Genius" commercials were aimed to salute the average man and hand them a Bud Light, while now Bud Light commercials use an attractive or desirable female that talks about something and is really talking about sex.
ReplyDeleteI think the main idea is great in this thesis, but maybe you should create an argument on why they have shifted towards using sexual scenarios in their commercials.
DeleteLike many other satire comedies, family guy could have been interpreted in the wrong way when the show attempts to make fun of stereotypes.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the main point besides how people interpret the show, what is connection to the sexuality and gender. I feel like the thesis will be more powerful if you make it less broad and narrow in on a more specific argument
DeleteThe objectification of women in the mass media, and in particular alcohol advertisements, has become commonplace as they attempt to not only get the male populations attention but also appeal to their "manly" side; And our society has allowed this ugly trend to expand and thrive because of the false and unfair social expectations placed on women in our society.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fairly well written thesis. A suggestion though, is to cut down the length a little (combined what comes after the semicolon with what precedes it). You could also use a word like masculine instead of manly. Also, I don't know if this would be narrowing your topic too much but, what areas of society are unfair and false social expectations placed upon women?
DeleteThe use of advertisement draws the eyes of many. Alcohol advertisements use sexual messages to sell their product at an extreme level. These advertisements pull in customers bringing them into a world they have not experienced. Objectifying women is one element that stands out in many of advertisements.
ReplyDeleteI think that your thesis statement is good but one suggestion that I have is that you try to combine all four sentences into one or two more detailed sentences to help get your point across.
DeleteThis music video portrays Big Sean as a king in which women flock to him as he sits in a throne. The women in the video are objectified and just seen as a source of pleasure for him. These types of videos have become prevalent in music today and are influencing the youth in society today.
ReplyDeleteI think your thesis statement is detailed and good. But I think you can try to combine three sentences into one sentence to let your statement more detailed.
DeleteMany Axe relies heavily on sexuality with their advertisements, but consumers could also be attracted to the humor, over the top nature, and the controversy of their commercials.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you have stated here, just remember over the top nature and humor could be along very similar lines. Maybe one thing that could be talked about is the fact that the product is called Axe.... why may the company name their product axe:definition.... "to have an ax to grind; have a self-serving reason for doing or being involved in something" is that supposed to make the man feel superior or manlier? Another question may be something along the lines of ....why the ad only attracts a certain age of men, possibly 20 and younger, because of the immaturity in the ad therefore only being humorous to a certain age which explains the tin can and bright colors compared to a glass gucci cologne with simple and elegant smell.
DeleteAs more and more women experience combat situations over seas, it becomes more and more apparent that the Combat Exclusion Policy isn't just unfair, it's outdated.
ReplyDeleteI would recommend that you go into detail as to what about the policy is unfair rather than just stating that it is "more apparent." Maybe this would make your thesis a little less broad.
DeleteThe males on Jersey Shore live a lifestyle thats goal is to have sex. They go to parties and interact with women for the opportunity to have sex and the show revolves around and promotes this lifestyle. This is then presented to the viewer and the shows message is absorbed and seen as a part of american culture that depending on whos watching is accepted or isn't.
ReplyDeleteI think you should take a firm stance in your thesis statement, since it seems like you're trying to be fighting the topic at hand from both sides. I think the thesis will be stronger if you were to take a side on the argument.
DeleteIn the popular reality show the jersey shore, the characters live a wild lifestyle of going out and partying almost everynight. This type of behaviour influences the young viewers, mostly teenagers, because some young viewers might view the characters on the show as role models.
ReplyDeleteThrough the advertisment in the mass media, women are accepting how the media is portraying the idea of beauty, sexuality and behavior in societies reality.
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DeleteI think you still can extend your statement . For specific, you can add the way that women accept all the perspectives in mass media. Also, you can include more specific information about the reality in societies about women.
DeleteYou have good thesis statement, but if you are possible, be more specific about your statement.
DeleteThe alcohol marketing always use the scenes that has sex or hot girls to promote products, in other words, focusing on feelings of male more than that of female.It has brought huge impact to the society and infuence the whole maketing world.
ReplyDeleteI think you should give more detail about the huge impact to the society and influence to the whole maketing world. What kind of imapct and influence are you talking about? It is a good thesis statement, but i think you should narrow it a little.
Delete@wen I feel like your thesis statement has been spread over the two sentences; try to combine them into one clear sentence instead of two.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUsing sexual image in advertisemnt, this brand, 'Dolce and Gabanna', tries to enhance its image more elegant and luxurious.
ReplyDeleteI think you can make the thesis more clear by explaining how the ad does in enhancing its image. What's the relation between the ad and luxury. Besides, you have "what" in your thesis statement, but "why" is missing.
Delete@Inkrott: You can improve your thesis by specifying or at least hinting at what "other" factors yo are talking about.
ReplyDelete